Clueless
Will my crystal and pearled veil be drenched with the acid of an adulterer’s tears,
Collapsing my heart at the altar beneath piles of pity and unforgetting looks from my family?
Will my friends forget the postcards we never signed,
Igniting the migraine in my memories with an explicit sadness and lack of serenity?
Meanwhile all but wishing for something that I never knew I needed,
something I still wonder if I would need to feel complete,
something that may seem too appealing to be authentic.
With every supposed empty smile,
every hug.
Every dinner chair reminds me of someone who vanished ten years ago,
A vacant seat at my greatest shows with the words “reserved” exposed on its cushion.
Will the tires in my un-materialized car crash into the headlights of another without a single mental pulse of electricity quick enough to feel the pain?
Will all my memories kiss me as they brush past me for a final second,
holding my worst and my dearest ones in harmony for once,
just for once in my life.
Will my shoulders be emptied with no one to conceal them,
keeping them frigid in the pernicious winters of the North?
Will the red wine and shots of sex on the beach rest on the marbled table until the fruits they bear wilt into pulp?
Never completing the list of questions that serenade me with melancholy, I stand between the tides of death and living.
Both are so close they can be brushed with the grace of one’s fingertips.
Slow, painfully slow, I watch the ocean now paint my future in ways I could never imagine,
will it leave me clueless just as I am right now?
